Taking it apart

I'm physically and emotionally exhausted. As evidenced by my tears, two (2!) cold sores and raw heart. Just completed the 2nd round ( two 9 hour days) of clean out of my parents’ home. Some things we ran across were so tender and full of love. Letters from mom and dad to each other in the 40’s. Love notes from flowers sent when Dad was away. Letters from a father to a daughter or from a grandmother to a 10 year old girl. They saved everything. Kept every talk, handouts from meetings, tons of stuff they had learned or were interested in over 90+ years. Such darling and handsome people in their early years. It was a little bit freeing to toss so much stuff that had accumulated, yet also felt a bit betraying to toss stuff that embodied the person – lessons, talks, book reviews, church notes, recipes, high school and college notes, teaching class notes. We came across so many items that triggered a memory of earlier family times, or an amazement of something we did not even know (like Dad had been invited to do something for the United Nations! Mom was the freshman secretary at BYU) That he bought his home for $12000 and he made a $7600 down payment!
The home is one deep layer cleaned out – nothing in the kitchen cabinets, all files and drawers and closets empty, furniture spoken for, treasures divided up and packed for transport. Here are the items Dad used to teach himself Russian in the 50's - 60's!

I learned that it is not just about the ‘stuff’ and who gets it. It is an opportunity to nurture and preserve relationships.
I just hope my heart can heal soon from the wide open rawness and tender feelings. Thanks for the memories, Jim and Jennie Carlson.