Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The Lesson

It was dark, very dark, and impossible to see in the large hall for someone 50 + and eyes that are slow to adjust to dark rooms.

As I was sitting in the balcony for the devotional, another BYU staff person came in and was trying to sit in the empty seat next to me.

He was unsure of where to step but knew there was an empty seat.

I reached up and grabbed his hand, placed it on the arm of the chair so he had something to hold on to that guided him to the seat, since he could not see it in the dark.

He made it just fine, with that bit of help.

After the devotional was over, he turned to me and thanked me for my guiding hand.

Surely there is a lesson here about faith and our Father in Heaven and reaching out for Him, moving ahead in uncertainty but with the strength of faith.

And finding solid ground.


I'm going to think about it.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

That would be nice

photo taken July 4, 2009

These are the words spoken by my father, Grandpa Carlson, as he was in the ER and struggling to breathe due to the aspiration of fluid into his lungs. The Dr had asked if he wanted help breathing. "That would be nice." So he was quickly intubated. I was there in Denver and drove to the hospital to see him in a very serious condition. Septic shock, pneumonia, weak kidneys, and ventilator tube down his throat. It all happened so fast - he was having such a good time with us just two days before. As siblings we were contemplating the possibility of making decisions to remove the breathing tube and every doctor told us how sick he was with everything against him because of his age of 94 years. What a week of tearful tenderness, conversations and prayers and blessings. The nurses were wonderful, and Grandpa rallied to the surprise of all. We were willing to accept the Lord's will no matter what.
Saturday the breathing tube was removed, he spoke, sat up, and asked for water about 10 times.
He was back!
And just to show how faithful and determined he is, he occupied his waiting time for the drink of water by repeating the Thirteen Articles of Faith, one by one. Then, the list of Denver temple presidents in order.

I flew home late Saturday night and today in RS I finally realized how this past week has made me much more sensitive to the messages in the words of the hymns. Each song we sang reminded me of my father, his goodness, his faith, and all the ways we depend upon the Lord. It painted the picture of what I had just experienced mentally and emotionally and spiritually. A week of examining my love for my father, my faith in the Lord, my acknowledgment of His love.
I was surprised by how tender my heart still was after all the progress Grandpa was making. It felt like a warm hug from the Lord and gentle lesson that He does know and love my father and me and each of our needs. Of course there were tears on my cheeks. Amazing how quickly one can feel the spirit in the presence of hymns.

I want to include the words here for my reading later on.

More Holiness Give Me, no. 131
1. More holiness give me,
More strivings within,
More patience in suff’ring,
More sorrow for sin,
More faith in my Savior,
More sense of his care,
More joy in his service,
More purpose in prayer.
2. More gratitude give me,
More trust in the Lord,
More pride in his glory,
More hope in his word,
More tears for his sorrows,
More pain at his grief,
More meekness in trial,
More praise for relief.
3. More purity give me,
More strength to o’ercome,
More freedom from earth-stains,
More longing for home.
More fit for the kingdom,
More used would I be,
More blessed and holy—
More, Savior, like thee.

Be Thou Humble, no. 130

1. Be thou humble in thy weakness, and the Lord thy God shall lead thee,
Shall lead thee by the hand and give thee answer to thy prayers.
Be thou humble in thy pleading, and the Lord thy God shall bless thee,
Shall bless thee with a sweet and calm assurance that he cares.
2. Be thou humble in thy calling, and the Lord thy God shall teach thee
To serve his children gladly with a pure and gentle love.
Be thou humble in thy longing, and the Lord thy God shall take thee,
Shall take thee home at last to ever dwell with him above.

In Humility, Our Savior, no. 172
1. In humility, our Savior,
Grant thy Spirit here, we pray,
As we bless the bread and water
In thy name this holy day.
Let me not forget, O Savior,
Thou didst bleed and die for me
When thy heart was stilled and broken
On the cross at Calvary.
2. Fill our hearts with sweet forgiving;
Teach us tolerance and love.
Let our prayers find access to thee
In thy holy courts above.
Then, when we have proven worthy
Of thy sacrifice divine,
Lord, let us regain thy presence;
Let thy glory round us shine.

Carry On, no. 255
1. Firm as the mountains around us,
Stalwart and brave we stand
On the rock our fathers planted
For us in this goodly land—
The rock of honor and virtue,
Of faith in the living God.
They raised his banner triumphant—
Over the desert sod.